Days Two and Three

I am now the owner of a very exclusive MSC Cruise Lines-embossed tape measure that will make a very fine Christmas gift for some unsuspecting family member (Note to self: check that person hasn’t been reading the blog). How did I come about such prestigious merchandise? Please refer to yesterday’s entry. The theme of the first quiz was ‘Capital Cities’. I ask you! Fish? Barrel?

After such a white-knuckle, adrenalin rush I had to disembark and allow lunchtime rush hour in central Barcelona act to calm my nerves. Little to report from ashore (as we seasoned sailors like to call it) except for my promised smuggling experiment. This is going to be my little protest at the €7 on-board pint and the sneakiness of adding so much chlorine to the tap-water that you turn green about ten minutes after brushing your teeth. The only drinking water available comes in at €2 a bottle. So, can I circumvent the very explicit prohibition of bringing any kind of beverage on board after shore leave? Before I recruit my team of camels (those with the roomiest colons, please form a line) I need to conduct a test run. Think of this like the paper dart launched through the bars of the cell window in Colditz. You just knew that Kenneth More had a bigger plan in mind, didn’t you?

So purchased, one 44cl can of Fuller’s London Pride bitter, price €1.29 from Carrefour on Las Ramblas; a careful selection for two reasons: a) because it’s just one beverage, how big a sin can that be? And b) the ship’s extensive list of international beers contains nothing darker than a Heineken three months past its sell-by date. I also purchased beer snacks and slabs of quality chocolate. These you can purchase at exorbitant prices at the on-board duty free shop, but are not specifically outlawed; this is my double-blind control test.

Anyway, it appears that the doom-laden warnings are a bluff: no intimate body search, no sniffer Spaniel and a very pleasant pre-dinner pint. Cádiz here I come! Break out the fine old sherries, because Captain Rummy’s got a thirst on.

Now, a word on our shipmates. Suffice it to say, there’s a lot of Afrikaans being spoken hereabouts. The cruise line, MSC is one of the few lines that operates heavily to-, from- and around Syth Efrican waters and hence about 500 of the 900 aboard are actually heading homewards. There are an awful lot of gold and green rugby shirts on display, so I’m keeping shtum. There’s also something particularly intimidating in the tone of voice of middle-aged, white South Africans that makes you fearful for your liberty. I’m sooo minding my Ps and Qs. No offence entendud, ma frind.

Tomorrow’s entry will be coming to you from Cádiz, where we would be singeing the King of Spain’s beard, were he not clean shaven. ¡Hasta entonces!